Help your Child
What are the risk factors for children who bully?
Children who bully are more likely to do poorly in school, use drugs and alcohol, vandalize property and engage in other antisocial behavior. They are also at higher risk to end up in prison. One study showed that two-thirds of boys identified as bullies in 6th through 9th grade had been convicted of a crime by the time they turned 24; 40 percent had multiple arrests by age 30, according to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center.
Signs your child is being bullied
Many times, children won’t tell their parents that they are being bullied because they’re ashamed or are afraid of retaliation if they tell an adult what’s happening. That’s why it’s important to look for signs that something’s wrong. Does your child:
Come home with bruises, cuts, ripped clothing, missing belongings, etc.?
Refuse to go to school in the morning or complain of having frequent stomachaches, headaches or other illnesses that require parents to keep the child home?
Show a sudden loss of interest in school and schoolwork?
Appear depressed, moody and becoming tearful without a reason?
Become socially isolated with few good friends?
Rush in to go to the bathroom after getting home from school? Bullying often takes place in the school bathroom because adults aren’t present and it’s easy to block the exit.
Get in trouble at school? At times, the child who is being bullied lashes out in response.
Signs your child is being bullied
Many times, children won’t tell their parents that they are being bullied because they’re ashamed or are afraid of retaliation if they tell an adult what’s happening. That’s why it’s important to look for signs that something’s wrong. Does your child:
Come home with bruises, cuts, ripped clothing, missing belongings, etc.?
Refuse to go to school in the morning or complain of having frequent stomachaches, headaches or other illnesses that require parents to keep the child home?
What to do if your child is being bullied
1. Ask your child what is going on if you suspect that bullying is occurring. Find out the name or names of the others involved and the details of what happened.
2. Don’t assume or imply that your child did anything to instigate the bullying.
3. Don’t try and fix the situation. Instead, talk with your child about strategies to use when the bullying occurs. Ask questions like: “What do you think you could say the next time this person says …..?
What to do if your child is suicidal
Get help immediately. Seek out a professional counselor and a psychiatrist. If your insurance plan does not provide mental health services and you cannot afford to pay out-of-pocket, seek out free or low-cost mental health services in your community. In Southern Arizona, contact SAMHC (Southern Arizona Mental Health Corporation) at 520-617-0043 to make an appointment or their 24-hour crisis line at 520-522-6000.
How to help your child use strategies….
Children who bully seek to intimidate and isolate other children. Ignoring this behavior may not make the conduct stop. But responding with confidence, assertiveness and humor can help stop the bullying. If children who bully don’t get the response they’re seeking – anger, fear, sadness – they will move on and leave your child alone. Role play with your child to help them come up with confident responses and reactions to taunts that will won’t give the instigator the reaction they’re seeking.
How to help your child use strategies….
Children who bully seek to intimidate and isolate other children. Ignoring this behavior may not make the conduct stop. But responding with confidence, assertiveness and humor can help stop the bullying. If children who bully don’t get the response they’re seeking – anger, fear, sadness – they will move on and leave your child alone. Role play with your child to help them come up with confident responses and reactions to taunts that will won’t give the instigator the reaction they’re seeking.
Should you talk directly to child who is bullying…
Do not directly approach the parents of the child. This can make the situation worse. Instead, contact your child’s teacher, school counselor and principal.
How to talk to your child’s teacher …
Make an appointment to talk with your child’s teacher, the school counselor or psychologist and the principal to discuss the situation. Explain what has happened and ask how these educators plan to intervene and ensure that your child feels safe at school. Levels of anti-bullying training differ school-to-school, so don’t assume that educators at your school have received specialized training in how to deal with bullying situations. Also, remember that children who bully often act when an adult is not present or not watching, and social bullying is very difficult to identify.
